I alluded a couple days ago to the five elements of story: character, conflict, choice, climax and conclusion—sometimes called introduction, rising action, climax, falling action and resolution, eschewing nifty and easy-to-remember alliteration. Here is something that pleases the OCD in me: Limericks, those saucy, five-line poems with a long and illustrious history in the English language, tell an entire story using all five elements in just a few words.
Here are couple of examples, the first from Edward Lear, that old master of literary nonsense, and the second from English comedian Spike Milligan, to give you a snapshot of the awesome storytelling power of limericks:
There was an Old Person whose habits
Induced him to feed upon rabbits.
When he’d eaten eighteen
He turned perfectly green
Upon which he relinquished those habits.
—Lear
There was a young man named Wyatt
whose voice was exceedingly quiet.
And then one day
It faded away
—Milligan
Fabulous, right? Here’s your chance to share your favorite limericks (PG-13, please) and revel in the brilliance of the form. Go!
Filed under: writing Tagged: | limericks, storytelling
For straight-up bizzare, you can hardly beat:
There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
When they said, ‘Does it buzz?’
He replied, ‘Yes, it does!’
‘It’s a regular brute of a Bee!’
Titillating and literary:
There once was a man named McNameter
Who was blessed with both length and diameter
But it wasn’t his size
That was a surprise
‘Twas his rhythm: iambic pentameter
It’s actually funny you bring this up, because I’ve been translating an epic cycle of Irish limericks based on 18th and 19th century ailments:
There once was a man with a rheum,
Whose house was dusty as a tomb,
Because, it appears,
That, blinded by tears,
He could not lay his hand on the broom.
There was an old man with chilblains
Who had long ago tired of his pains,
And, in order to treat
His troublesome feet,
Had both of them run o’er by trains.
There was an old hag with an ague . . .
You speak Gaelic?? How rad are you? (Answer: Quite rad, indeed.)
I’m also translating a 16th century haiku by Nozawa Bonchō about limericks:
Within these five lines
Truth stands humbly aside, and
Makes way for dick jokes.
I’m also at work on a translation of an early version of Pushkin’s “The Bronze Horseman,” which – and this is little known – was originally composed in stanzas of limericks:
There was a young fellow named Peter,
Czar of Russia, none more handsome nor sweeter,
By the Neva he stood,
On the future to brood
O! he was such a wonderful leader!
Also, John Donne, in his last years, when he had gone a bit dotty, ended up converting most of his /Holy Sonnets/ into limerick form, which he proclaimed to be the superior work. While few complete mss still exist, I’m editing a volume of textual criticism on what we do have.
Here’s a bit of Holy Sonnet X:
Be not so proud, O death!
For you’re not so horrid by half.
Those you think you kill
Hang around even still
And we think it’s a bit of a laugh!
Oh my god, I am so gullible.
I’m still rad, but not for the reason you thought.
Or should I have said:
I’m certainly rad, but guess what?
It’s not for the reason you thought.
The elegant frisson
Of my composition
Kept the sarcasm from being caught.
OK, I think I’ve got it:
There was an old hag with an ague
Said to her old man,”Not to nag you,
But to heal, what I need
Is to do the deed.”
He said, “Surely, I’ll just double-bag you.”
I could do this all day!
Apparently.
Now you know why so few of my friends blog about limericks.
There once was a rad guy named Doug
Who suffered from some kind of bug
That made him write lim’ricks
With dicks in the remix
Until Aly smacked his rad mug.
Buwahahaa! Everything above? Brilliant. :P
o.o Now I need a limerick. Hmm…
Limerick
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, ‘It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!’
XD <3
There was an Old Man with a gong,
Who bumped at it all day long;
But they called out, 'O law!
You're a horrid old bore!'
So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
last one…
There was an Old Man in a boat,
Who said, 'I'm afloat, I'm afloat!'
When they said, 'No! you ain't!'
He was ready to faint,
That unhappy Old Man in a boat.